Henry's school recently asked me to write an article for their newsletter discussing our experience with his speech therapy. For me this turned into a wonderful reason to look back through all of the assessments and notes that had been taken in regard to Henry and his development over the past 18 months. How wonderful to pause, if just for a moment, and remember all that he has accomplished. We are so proud of him! Below is the article.
“MAMA!!”
There it was. Clear as day.
Henry’s first word. In the throws of a horrible virus, 104 fever and being away from home on a family vacation, Henry became desperate enough to utter for the first time, “Mama.”
The moment was so impressionable because Henry was nearly 17 months old and hadn’t said anything up until that point except a name for his older brother Jack, “aak.” Henry’s first year of life had been plagued by horrible ear infections causing his hearing to be severely compromised. By 18 months of age his speech was falling in the 7-10 month range for expressive language. We knew that Henry “took his time” with almost everything he did – walking, talking, climbing. He also lacked the competitive nature that drove his older brother to always be ahead of the game. Although up until this point Henry’s delays were nothing I ever worried about. He was such a clever, sweet-natured child that I felt in my gut he would eventually gain every skill he needed.
I have to admit when Henry’s pediatrician recommended that we seek special services in order to move him along it came as a bit of a shock. We were told that because of Henry’s significant delay we qualified for services through the Vermont Parent/Child Network to help assess Henry and build a plan that would help him learn to communicate. Simultaneously, Henry was dealing with delayed motor skills – something that we later learned can be common in children with a significant speech delay.
My immediate feeling was sadness that Henry had to go through this. I knew it was going to ask a lot of him to have therapist coming to his school, to our home. In my mind he was so sensitive and easily over stimulated that I feared it would be too much – I wanted to protect him. How had the fact that Henry wasn’t yet speaking suddenly become a regimented schedule of therapy sessions? I felt that anything he needed, we could do on our own.
That was 17 months ago. So much has changed – the most important being my ability to accept help.
It is amazing to look back on all that Henry has accomplished – largely in part to the Parent/Child Center (PCC) and his phenomenal group of teachers at College Street Children's Center, led by Sarah Perrotte. The most amazing aspect has not been what Henry has gained in speech and motor skills, but what we as parents have learned. To say that it has been fascinating is an understatement.
I have always felt like Henry’s childhood has been fleeting – maybe because I know he is our last “baby.” Maybe because I have seen how fast our oldest son has grown. But because of these things I wanted to wrap myself into every aspect of him and not let it go. What the past year in a half of therapy has offered us is a priceless glimpse into Henry’s inner workings. What makes him tick, what we can do to provide him with all that he needs in order to nurture his spirit and allow him to strive. The PCC gave us the tools and support to make this possible.
When we first met with the PCC we were introduced to Chris Mueller, our service coordinator who was there to help us build our team. We were going to have a team! As soon as I realized this I was overwhelmed with the possibilities. It took a while to wrap my head around this, but once we had a plan and met his speech therapist, occupational therapist and physical therapist we were well on our way. Led by Chris Mueller, we felt taken care of – suddenly this was something we could tackle.
Our first appointment was at our home. Henry loved it . He excelled in the one-on-one setting. It became an intriguing backdrop in which to see my son, like the fly on the wall we all long to be as parents. I remember early on in the assessment phase during one therapy session when they handed Henry a baby and a bottle. They were of course hoping that he would initiate care of the baby, pretend to feed it, maybe comfort and pat its back. Instead, Henry threw the baby. As a mother, I was thinking to myself, ‘please Henry, pick up the baby, love the baby, feed the baby!’. But of course I couldn’t intervene, I could only watch from afar. Sure enough he eventually did pick up the baby, and fed the baby, and even rocked the baby. This was a great lesson for me as a mother. I learned that this was Henry’s time and had he not picked up the baby it would have been okay, too. It wouldn't be judged, he was just a baby himself. The parent child center taught us patience and gave us as much time as was needed for them to truly get to know Henry. This wasn’t something that was going to happen overnight. And now, after almost a year in a half of therapy, we have come to rely on their support. It gets us through this crazy, unpredictable world of parenting. Our team has become Henry’s greatest advocates and our teachers.
Throughout this process we have also been fortunate enough to have Henry’s development assessed by the Child Development Clinic of Vermont. This was a wonderfully enlightening experience and I will forever hold with me the advice given to us by the pediatrician. She comforted me, as I expressed concern that I shouldn’t be working and that Henry needed more of me. She told me that children are like trees – the harder the wind blows the deeper their roots grow and the stronger they become. Comforting words for any parent.
